Yeah, don't have a good title for this one. Or a good, cogent plan here at the onset. And this is likely to be depressing for all you loyal readers, but maybe I can put some hysterical spin on things and cheer myself up in the process.
So what I really want right now is a big, swinging porch swing to put in front of my house where I have no, real porch. I could really use some downtime with cookies, gently swinging, watching leaves fall, while my son does something safe and fun nearby. Several problems with this plan. I don't own a swing. Or a porch. So it would have to sit in front of the garage door very near the cat pan. And my son doesn't know what to do with himself on an aggregate driveway. And our lawn has no grass. Our lawn is patchy moss, sticks, leaves, mud, and a smattering of pretty green weeds.
Last weekend when I needed to hose off several things in the yard, I took him with me. I brought along the awesome table of musical buttons for him to play with. But he's seldom been in the front yard. Mainly because of the lack of a lawn. So he hung onto the little table and watched every move I made instead. At times I would relocate him and sit him down somewhere else, and he would not move a muscle. Well, OK, he did pick up a stick, wave it around, and then try to chew it. And aggregate is heck on the baby knees, so I don't see him crawling anywhere on that stuff.
Anyway, I need at least a 30 minute vacation. The combination of emotional things is not really working for me right now. That's the combination of being out of work and being pregnant minus the joy of having heard a heartbeat or something else doctor approved/verified. Very stupid and despairing conversations run through my head.
Emotional me: WWHHHHHHHHHYyyy haven't I found a job yet?
Logical me: Because you've only really been looking for a week, dingbat!
Emotional me: WWWHHHHHHYYYYyyyyy don't I feel pregnant?
Logical me: Did you forget the weakness and nausea from this morning?
Emotional me: WWWWWHHHHYYYYYyyyy haven't I felt the baby move yet?
Logical me: Because you're not even 7 weeks pregnant!
Emotional me: WWWHHHHYYYYY can't I seem to get anything done?
Logical me: Have you forgotten that you're pregnant? Lower your standards - NOW!
Emotional me: WWWWWHHYYYY can't I visualize this new baby yet?
Logical me: Because it's barely a tadpole! And it's not like you recognized Quint when he first popped out of you! You knew he'd be a baby, but you were surprised that you couldn't have picked him out of a lineup at 5 hours old. The baby is a THING UNSEEN! And it won't be seen until at least May!
Emotional me: WWWWHHHYYY am I so tired and fatigued?
Logical me: Has anyone told you that you're pregnant, loosing your job, and perhaps you're a little down?
Also, some realistic, if a bit discouraging facts:
After Thanksgiving, I probably will not get a job until January. No one really hires during the holidays.
If I find no other job, I'll have this job until Dec 10. Then no one will hire me until January.
I might get hired somewhere between January and whatever point it becomes obvious that I'm not just fat, I'm pregnant. No one will hire me at 7 months pregnant.
I don't really want to start a job until 6 weeks after the baby is born.
So, in all likelihood, I might find a job between now and Thanksgiving, between New Years and March, or after July.
Here's a completely un-related funny! Scott here at work and my boss are very firmly Democrats. My boss is also black, so during the Obama campaign, she and Scott would chatter on and on (and on!) about how wonderful Obama was and wouldn't it be great to have a black president and blah blah blah. Everyone remembers those conversations. They both knew that I was a Republican and very politely left me out of the conversations. At times I would enter into the race conversation and say things like, "Does it have to be THAT black man? How about Eddie Murphy? How about James Earl Jones? I might actually vote for Morgan Freeman!" She was bouncing off the ceiling for WEEKS after the election. And yes, it is a very good thing that little black boys and girls can now dream about being president one day. If there's a country left by the time they become of age...
I think we can pretty safely say that most everyone is disappointed in Obama as a President. I feel much, much, MUCH more strongly about that of course, but I won't get into that. Scott and Jackie have been exceptionally quiet about Obama for over a year now.
The dollar taker on the coke machine is busted once again. I keep a box of change on my desk for just such emergencies and currently, I have nearly $40 in quarters in that box! There are three whole rolls of quarters in there. There's a sign on the machine that says that I have change.
Scott opens the box today to get change for his dollar. He sees all the rolls of quarters there and says, "Now THAT'S change I can believe in." I tilt my head at him. "Have you been disappointed by other change, Scott?" My boss snorts in the cube next door. Very, very long pause. Scott says, "I choose not to comment on that subject." I say, "I completely understand."
Stupid aspect of the tax code for today:
If a parent can claim the child but no parent does claim the child, the child is treated as the qualifiying child of the person who had the highest Annual Gross Income for the year, but only if that person's Annual Gross Income is higher than the highest Annual Gross Income of either of the child's parents who could have claimed the child. If the child's parents file a joint return with each other, this rule can be applied by dividing the parents; combined Annual Gross Income equally between the two.
I have come to the conclusion, just one week into this class that the government is the largest producer of red tape in the world AND if you just look at the tax code, the government would like to encourage all of us to live a more Jerry Springer-style lifestyle.
So in the above example, if a child lives with someone other than their parents, that guardian can only claim the child on their taxes if their AGI is less than either of the parents. I think that's right. So only if the keeper of your child makes less than you can they take the child credit. That's just great. Let's shaft the person who is being responsible enough to care for a child who isn't theirs.